"Parallel Recovery" for Families of Addicts with Brooke Donohue
Description
The moment a loved one enters addiction treatment, a parallel journey begins for the entire family. In this eye-opening conversation, Brooke—family group facilitator at Valiant Living—shares wisdom gained from both professional expertise and personal experience with addiction's devastating impact on families.
Brooke introduces the powerful concept of "parallel recovery," explaining how both the person with addiction and their family members need healing—but must travel their own paths. "Parallel recovery is this idea that we both need healing, but we don't heal side by side," she explains, using the metaphor of two cyclists riding next to each other. When one person tries to control the other's handlebars, both crash. Her message is clear: we must learn to support without trying to fix.
Drawing from her own journey as someone who lost multiple family members to addiction—including her ex-husband and sister-in-law—and parented a son through substance use disorder, Brooke speaks with rare authenticity about the rage, guilt, and codependency that often characterize family responses to addiction. She vulnerably shares how she transformed from "an ostrich with her head in the sand" to finding her voice through anger, and eventually through boundaries and compassion.
For family members feeling forgotten while their loved one receives treatment, Brooke offers practical guidance on managing codependency, setting healthy boundaries, and beginning their own healing journey. She explains how education about addiction creates space for compassion, and how finding your voice can begin with something as simple as saying "no" to making dinner.
Whether you're a spouse, parent, sibling, or friend of someone struggling with addiction, this conversation offers hope that healing is possible. As Brooke reminds us: "You are not alone. I see you, I hear you, I am you, and let's start to heal."